- Some Quick Journal Feedback
- Procedural Analysis Paper
- Academic Paper Crash Course
Some Quick Journal Feedback
Working through the rubric question on theme, one student wrote:
The theme of the game is about choice. The narrator sets up a story in which Stanley learns that he is being mind controlled by his boss and “frees” Stanley from a life that is controlled by other people. Interestingly enough, as much as the narrator paints the idea of being controlled in a bad light, when Stanley does not make the decisions that the narrator wants him to make, the narrator gets irritated and even angry.
To which I responded:
I’m not sure what you mean by “choice” in that first sentence. I think you are working through this, but also that you need to chisel away at what choice means here, in what ways the problem of choice operates in our society. Or in what way people struggle with or against choice? Is the target of the designer’s critique the capitalist expectation that we sit at our desks and obey/produce, or a more Socratic critique that people choose obedience because they are too frail, to cowardly, to make important choices in their own life?
Similarly a reflection on Doki Doki:
I believe that this game’s depiction of mental illness is important to discover. I think the authors used mental health as an added factor in the horror relam because of the realness that depression shows in the physical world.
Cool–this writer has identified the game’s topic, but I don’t think we have enough specific focus to identify the argument or theme. What are the developers saying about mental health, the way it is commonly (mis?)portrayed, how we might approach it, etc. How do they want me to perceive mental health differently? What do they want to change?
Some initial reflection on A Blind Legend:
The clear mechanics to be found interesting is the lack of visuals – although it is not entirely barren. As the player slashes with a sword or gets attacked, there are occasionally flashes of white or red to indicate contact or being harmed, respectively. Similarly, the “health system” is based on heartbeats, entirely audible as well; the more the player gets injured, the faster the heart will beat. Timing is also important, as to hear when to attack; important cues given like growls to tell you when and where to slash. A disembodied voice also narrates you through learning the keys and mechanics, and I am surprised it is not a better done voice, or one given through a character for example. I am curious if this has a point, and will have to consider that while playing, if the voice remains relevant.
So far I feel lost, although I am sure this is intentional. As there are no visual clues as to what is going on in the story, it is developing slowly through dialogue. So far we have run from the kingdom, hacked through woods, and are taking shelter in a cave from the rain, where we had to fight off some animal (a bear, I assume, although perhaps something more fantastical, it was not explicitly stated).
An initial reflection to Journey:
Summary of session: This was a fantastic intro to the game. This is unlike anything I have played before. I felt totally serene, but curious the whole time. I wanted to know how to play and what to do, but I let that subside and just played around, figuring it out along the way. It was gratifying to figure out a mechanic or goal without being told. The movement was satisfying and I loved how it felt as I got better and it became more fluid. As I moved to the next level, the camera was focused on a huge looming mountain/volcano in the distance. I am guessing that it is my goal to get there by the end of the game. I like the idea of having a general direction, but no idea of what is in between.
I love how the game keeps you aware of your own body, when you shift around your physical position, the camera angle reflects it. It reminds you of your interactivity with the character and the game itself. I am super excited to play more, but I will probably reserve it for calm, late nights like this.
Reading this, I want to the writer to put their experience (and Bogost’s language) in conversation with previous discussions of what makes Journey great. Let’s take this one.
Procedural Analysis Paper
Vitals:
- The paper is due Monday, January 30th at noon.
- Papers should generally be between 1000 and 2000 words, so 4 to 8 pages double-spaced (note that I check word count and not page length)
- Use either MLA, APA, or Chicago Style to format the paper and citations
- If papers meet base expectations (see below), then they will receive a “B.” I will provide every writer with 3-4 things they must revise to earn an A
Base expectations:
- The paper must provide an explication of Bogost’s concept of procedural rhetoric, citing Bogost, Custer, and this essay by Mark Love (also in the files section of Canvas)
- The paper must identify what it thinks the theme/argument/purpose of the game is (speculating on the designer’s intentions)
- The paper must identify at least two ways the mechanics work with or against that theme/argument/purpose. Remember that “mechanics” refers to rules, procedures, abilities, scoring systems, etc. Anything related to how we play the game. [Note: multiple path narratives are tricky here]
- The paper must supply and describe examples from the game that support those identifications
- The paper must, at some point, reflect upon how this game made them feel, whether that feeling matches up with the designers intentions, and speculate as to why/why not this game foster procedural persuasion
- The paper must have a title that does not suck
- Optional: the paper can suggest how the designers might tweak a mechanic, scoring system, etc to increase procedurality
A note: the hardest element of writing for developing writers concerns “audience.” To whom are you writing this paper? I would like you to write this paper for someone who:
- Has never read Bogost or heard of procedural rhetoric
- Has never played the video game you are analyzing
- Has some sense of typical video game genres (i.e., you do not have to tell them what an action platformer is, but you probably do need to identify and describe specific genre conventions of those genres). So, like, if you showed them a picture of Super Mario Brothers they would say “hey, that’s Super Mario Brothers!” but they wouldn’t necessarily know what a “meta loadout” is. In other words, maybe, your parents. Or a favorite high school teacher. Or a non-gamer friend/partner who has watched you play some games. Base familiarity without deep knowledge.
Academic Writing Crash Course
This is not a writing class as much as it is a thinking class–but, like many humanities classes, I will interface with your thinking through writing. Like video games and music and movies, writing has genres. The genre for this paper is probably the academic essay, which is boring. I encourage you to channel your own voice here, to play around, to have fun, to write as if this would be published on a website or whatever. And so the struggle for me here is to identify how much I should “discipline” these papers, temper your creative range with boring rules and expectations for academic prose.
I’m going to make a few suggestions for the paper because some folks like clear rules. Rules make them happy, or at least more comfortable. I should say that I don’t think thinking and writing are activities conducive to comfort. But, alas.
Academic Paper Crash Course (Hermeneutic Edition)
Okay, a few of my stock speeches.
- Writing cannot be taught, only learned
- “Teaching” Writing is not like “teaching” Math (student edition)
- “Teaching” Writing is not like “teaching” Math (teacher edition)
- New Procedurality Paper Choice. I wrote a thing once.
Now, despite all that, I am going to try and teach you how to write a paper (fully aware that this won’t “work” and that we’re all a bit annoyed).
Invention/Content: What Should This Paper Do?
Your task is to use theories of procedural rhetoric to analyze a game. This analysis should attempt to identify:
- what the designers are attempting to communicate
- what clear mechanical (procedural) choices they have made to amplify that message
- whether those choices worked on you
- additionally, it should be able to recommend how they might have better achieved their goals
Organization / Arrangement
Generally, this kind of analysis paper looks something like this:
- Introduction: with a concrete detailed “thesis statement” that condenses and summarizes all the fucking shit you will say in the paper. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT WRITING THIS UNTIL YOU HAVE WRITTEN THE PAPER. Don’t do it. Ever. I’ll know. (See argument below)
- Theoretical Lens: Describe the ideas you are using to analyze the textual object. In this case, we are talking “procedural rhetoric,” so you need a section of the paper that cites Bogost and Custer (files section of Canvas) and focuses on what ideas you use in your paper. I call this building the meat grinder.
- Body sections with interesting subheadings: Then there’s any number of sections that put a particular part/scene/chapter/system of the textual object through the meat grinder
- Conclusion: These are tricky
This first assignment checks your handle on the fundamentals of academic writing. These include:
- Argument. Does the paper’s introduction lay out a CLAIM rather than ask a QUESTION? Does the introduction lay out what the paper will conclude? Does it include specifics? LIKE REAL CONCRETE DETAILS. I cannot stress the importance of crafting a sophisticated thesis paragraph (not necessarily a statement, do I have time to rant about the 5 paragraph essay?)
- Paragraph StructureDoes each paragraph open with a topic sentence that lays out the claim of that paragraph? Does it transition into and contextualize evidence? Does it supply evidence (quote, reason, anecdote, etc). Does it summarize and then analyze evidence? [Note summarize and analyze are two different things!] Does the closing sentence of the paragraph “end” the thought by referring the specific claim of the paragraph back to the overall argument of the paper?
- Handling of Evidence I’ll be paying closer attention to two of the elements above–how well do you transition into a quote? Do you know how to contextualize a quote [that is, briefly tell the reader where the quote falls in view of the original author’s argument]. What do you do after the quote? How deftly can you summarize the quote–putting it into your own words in a way that “opens” it up for the reader without sounding too repetitive. This is a skill, a real hard one. AND then, how well do you add something to that quote/evidence that does something with it? For instance, if you are talking about player complicity, what can you add to the quote(s) from Sicart to help me understand it more. Do you recognize what keywords in the quote require more explication? Do you have personal experience that can help illuminate the concept? Do you have something to add to the quote to amplify its argument? Extend? Examples?
- Note–writing about procedurality means you might be analyzing elements of a game, so can you describe that element concisely and meaningfully to someone who hasn’t played the game? If you use a screenshot, can your provide enough context for me to understand your argument/analysis?
Crafting a Thesis Paragraph
Below I articulate three important elements of writing that I will use to evaluate your first paper: developing a specific thesis, properly contextualizing and analyzing evidence, and maintaining logical development.
That said, every piece of academic writing should offer a “thesis” in the introduction. I tend to hate this word, because it comes with so much baggage. For me, a strong thesis lays out AS SPECIFICALLY AS POSSIBLE what information a paper will present. It is a kind of idea map. Let me show you a few potential thesis statements:
- I/this paper explain(s) Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment
- I/this paper explain(s) Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment, noting his key terms and summarizing his suggestions for new teachers
- I/this paper explain(s) how Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment might create problems for teachers who prioritize grammar as the central concern of writing. instruction
All those examples are bad. Though not equally bad. The first one is an F. The second one is also an F. They are equally devoid of specific thought. They are a placeholder for a thought that, at the time of writing, the writer did not yet have.
The third one is better. It is in the high C, low B range. It could potentially be higher based on what comes before or after it. If the next sentence detailed a list of problems, then it would be an “A.”
Okay, so what does an “A” look like? Examples:
- I explain how Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment emphasizes the importance of familiarizing students with assessment rubrics, often through practice norming sessions
- I explain how Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment calls for teachers to separate grading and assessment from the act of providing feedback. When students encounter feedback alongside grades, they often receive that feedback as a justification for a (bad) grade rather than as an attempt to guide and develop their abilities. Inoue makes clear that providing distance between grades and feedback increases the likelihood that students engage and implement feedback
- I explain how Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment challenges traditional enforcement of “standard” English on the grounds that it severely and unjustly punishes students from multilingual backgrounds. The evidence Inoue presents creates problems for teachers who prioritize “proper” grammar as the central concern of writing.
Here’s the deal y’all: WRITE YOUR THESIS LAST. Trust me, I’ll know if you write the introduction before you write the paper. I’m a fucking Jedi when it comes to this. And I will die on this hill (those of you who have taken 301 should know why). Pro-tip: when you are done with your rough draft compare the thesis in your intro to the conclusion. You won’t know what a paper is actually going to say until you write it!
Pro-tip #2: academic and professional writing are not mysteries. This isn’t Scooby-Doo. Don’t keep me in suspense. Make sure all the important things you find in the course of a paper appear in the first few sentences, paragraphs, or pages (depending on the length of the paper). Front load, front load, front load.
Remember that an actual, breathing human is grading your papers. Sometimes they are grading as many as 80 papers a week. I’m not supposed to say this, but very often they are formulating an attitude toward your paper from the first paragraph. If it is some lazy first-draft-think-aloud-stream-of-consciousness-bullshit, then it is highly unlikely that anything you do later in the paper is going to reverse that first impression.
Working With Sources
Crafting a Thesis Paragraph
Below I articulate three important elements of writing that I will use to evaluate your first paper: developing a specific thesis, properly contextualizing and analyzing evidence, and maintaining logical development.
That said, every piece of academic writing should offer a “thesis” in the introduction. I tend to hate this word, because it comes with so much baggage. For me, a strong thesis lays out AS SPECIFICALLY AS POSSIBLE what information a paper will present. It is a kind of idea map. Let me show you a few potential thesis statements:
- I/this paper explain(s) Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment
- I/this paper explain(s) Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment, noting his key terms and summarizing his suggestions for new teachers
- I/this paper explain(s) how Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment might create problems for teachers who prioritize grammar as the central concern of writing. instruction
All those examples are bad. Though not equally bad. The first one is an F. The second one is also an F. They are equally devoid of specific thought. They are a placeholder for a thought that, at the time of writing, the writer did not yet have.
The third one is better. It is in the high C, low B range. It could potentially be higher based on what comes before or after it. If the next sentence detailed a list of problems, then it would be an “A.”
Okay, so what does an “A” look like? Examples:
- I explain how Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment emphasizes the importance of familiarizing students with assessment rubrics, often through practice norming sessions
- I explain how Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment calls for teachers to separate grading and assessment from the act of providing feedback. When students encounter feedback alongside grades, they often receive that feedback as a justification for a (bad) grade rather than as an attempt to guide and develop their abilities. Inoue makes clear that providing distance between grades and feedback increases the likelihood that students engage and implement feedback
- I explain how Inoue’s theory of anti-racist writing assessment challenges traditional enforcement of “standard” English on the grounds that it severely and unjustly punishes students from multilingual backgrounds. The evidence Inoue presents creates problems for teachers who prioritize “proper” grammar as the central concern of writing.
Here’s the deal y’all: WRITE YOUR THESIS LAST. Trust me, I’ll know if you write the introduction before you write the paper. I’m a fucking Jedi when it comes to this. And I will die on this hill (those of you who have taken 301 should know why). Pro-tip: when you are done with your rough draft compare the thesis in your intro to the conclusion. You won’t know what a paper is actually going to say until you write it!
Pro-tip #2: academic and professional writing are not mysteries. This isn’t Scooby-Doo. Don’t keep me in suspense. Make sure all the important things you find in the course of a paper appear in the first few sentences, paragraphs, or pages (depending on the length of the paper). Front load, front load, front load.
Remember that an actual, breathing human is grading your papers. Sometimes they are grading as many as 80 papers a week. I’m not supposed to say this, but very often they are formulating an attitude toward your paper from the first paragraph. If it is some lazy first-draft-think-aloud-stream-of-consciousness-bullshit, then it is highly unlikely that anything you do later in the paper is going to reverse that first impression.
Homework
What you have to complete this week depends on how diligently you have kept up with the journal work.
I asked you to complete 3 different journal entries. I will be grading the journal entries Friday morning (and, hopefully, I have scored the first gaming journal entries via the Gaming Journal Link today).
The whole purpose of the gaming journal entries assignment is to help you generate ideas for the paper. So the only other homework you have this week is to finish writing the paper before next week’s class.
To make my life easier, I ask that you use the heading feature to identify the three different entries in your journal. Let me demonstrate.
Final Note: I have submitted a request to reserve the Ross Computer lab for our classes on Wednesday and Friday this week. I will let you know once I have confirmation.
